The world of me

Why do I do this to myself? Freaking masochist... lol
Cest la vie, at least it keeps life interesting :P

Gained one person to lend perspective, lost another. Isn't that always the way? Maybe its just me. So, for now, back to talking to myself on lj. Had a great time at the larp last night, even though it was done on a budget :) Cant wait for the Montague/Capulet game though (anyone who bothers to read this must now side with Montague or else :P).
Went to a party at Karen's place after the larp, which was really fun. (Got there at 1am ish). Stayed up talking till the sun started to rise at 7am, where i figured maybe i should get some sleep... lol. I crashed once I got home anyway.
Missing my girls more than ever atm, haven't had a group like them in awhile. Guys I tried to use as talking posts to bounce my ideas off seem to get annoyed when I talk about points i'm undecided on and need help with. Is the world of women so different, and men dont talk about things they are undecided on? That's the problem with talking to guys I guess. My girl Sammy's health is still declining, shes isolated herself again, and it looks like her problem may be spreading. All I seem to be able to do is sit with her, supplying chocolate and watching dvds while we both avoid talking about our lives. Damn it.
Well that's my rant today for you poor people who read this. Blame men, its easier.

One month. There have been too many developements recently. I normally take a break from life every 6 months to reevaluate (hence the 6 month rule). So, no parties for a bit, 2 weeks probably, more if I need it. New coping strategies need developing, not sure how long that will take. ~sigh~ Just hope the world doesnt turn to hell while im not watching. cest la vie.
It takes alot for a person like myself to remain independant. God I hope I manage to keep it this time.

Well, after having been sick in bed for a good week, i'm finally coming out of the woods. Looks like after a few more days resting I will be back to my old self thankfully, I lost a fair few kgs after all this.
So, still alive and kicking.
What a week.

Damn that light at the end of the tunnel is looking gorgeous, and getting ever nearer.

You're too young to be this empty girl
I'll prepare you for a sick dark world
Know that you'll be my downfall.
But I call and I call and I call.

Sent to me by one of my friends ~sigh~.

~Looks around cage thoughtfully~ I do believe i may know where to find that key after all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXitEmQzfl8 Figures :P For those of you who dont getit, read the entry for april 17th. I guess it was more appropriate than I had previously thought :P

...She is fatalistic and hedonistic, living entirely in the present moment. Her beauty unintentionally entraps men, who are then led to their downfall by their own misguided ideas of love...
Carmen of course :P
The ravenholme day game required your character to be from a 19th C literary work, and she has been a fantastic character to read about and see. I couldnt help but choose her, she sounds so wonderful to play. Seduce guys accidentaly, and if you find out you will die then go with the flow :P
Ahh good times, I havent thought of that piece in quite awhile, I actually went out and got my own copy with Julia Migenes (one of the best carmens ever).
I also found out that my ankle is recovering at an incredible rate, so I may even be allowed to wear high heels at the next party.
Tis a good day :)

You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what's right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart. </td> Chaotic Good 75% Lawful Evil 60% Chaotic Neutral 60% Neutral Good 60% Chaotic Evil 55% Lawful Good 45% True Neutral 45% Neutral Evil 45% Lawful Neutral 30% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

Your clan is a dysfunctional one. That is because you are a Malkavian. Something is poisonous about this clan's blood that drives all those embraced to madness. However, in this madness, you tend to have great insight. Unfortunately, people just take it as senseless ramblings. In every family there is an insane one. You're it. What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

ahhh a malkavian at heart :P

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Isis Honorable, straightforward and idealistic. Active and self-confident. Colors: male: white, female: blue Compatible Signs: Osiris, Thoth Dates: Mar 11 - Mar 31, Oct 18 - Oct 29, Dec 19 - Dec 31 Role: Goddess of motherhood, women, and magic; goddess of the South; protector of Imseti (the son of Horus who watched over the canopic jar containing the liver) Appearance: Woman wearing the hieroglyph for "throne" on her head What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign? Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

Ok, looking for an escape to denial again. any suggestions?

hello again world
i got back from the weekend ravenholme game on sunday. talk about a fantastic game :) the occasional thing bothered me abit, but over all it was really fun to play. i remember sitting down on the veranda enjoying the view in late afternoon while we had no active scenes. it was truely gorgeous, i loved the chance to sit back, enjoy nature and read for a bit. Of course, then the game came and found me when characters walked down to have a conversation and didnt seem to click that i could hear. its nice to get the inside word on these things, you never know what people will say when they think you arent paying attention.
The next game is looking to be fun, iv been approached by both groups almost straight away, however one has offered a much more enticing deal than the other. Writing up a small to kill list, in case i have left over things at the end of the game :)
Apart from catching a cold after the larp, all is reasonably right with the world.
Goodbye for now

Have somehow survived latest trials and first day of school. ~sigh~ its nice to have dan gone, but hes already floundering in the real world. However i refuse to get involved this time. I warned him, and he did it anyway, nows a good a time as any to make a break. Only 2 classes of people left to help with their homework :P
(and I thought smoking was a bad habit :S)

Alright, through numerous deal changes, blackmail, and bribery the girl coming to stay is now turning up on wednesday evening where i will be out until thursday. During that she will be kept entertained by seeing meet the robinsons with my little sister.
I finally have the money saved to go to ravenholme which is great, still need to fit in some frenzied sewing around the projects which shouldve been started these holidays. ~sigh~ Its a wonderful world :P
Also, my less than sane friends have decided that the songs: jet - are you gonna be my girl, and nelly furtardo - maneater, are the ones that best describe me.
Finding this a bit weird that it happened without my knowing, feel free to help with analysis of this occurence, or put your vote in for a better song :P

Why does Tamsyn do this to me?!
She has kindly invited the girl I saved in high school to stay with me for 3 days this week. That would be fine except for the fact that I cant trust her, and she now relates better to my 13 yr old sister than me. And even my sister thinks of this girl as a younger sister (which, as she is my as, is a little sad). But this means that I am supposed to stay in the same room, smile and nod for three days while I miss out on sewing time, relaxing, a flat warming and possibly medieval guild. This is only building resentment towards her, it would be kinder for our relationship if we were allowed to drift apart and only ran across each other every few years.
Argh
These are going to be three very painful days.
Lets just hope im allowed to escape to the computers during them.

Went with my famly to see black sheep today. Brilliant movie! I loved it, giggling like mad when i got out. My little sister however is traumetized ~evil look~ She is currently curled in a ball, saying how we are awful people for finding it entertaining. Mwahahahahaha, I know some other movies she will just LOVE. Maybe I should put a toy sheep in her room. She gave me the dirtiest look when I walked out in my leather jacket and gloves. Great way to start the holidays, I havent felt this good in ages. Im going to check out a stockist of kid gloves tomorrow which is nice, found a place in whitford which has a good selection. Might pick up a few colours, the things are a terror to clean though. Working on making a lace parasol, picking up the material tomorrow as well if I can. Black lace of course, its collapsable too so i can carry it easier. Need to think of something to do with the handle though, as it is glaringly plastic and rather ugly. Wrap it in ribbon, or attach a different one to it. We will see. Need to grab cable ties too so I can practice corset making these holidays. Good times :)

You scored as Blue. Your heart is blue. You are a very calm and relaxed person. You are very caring and like helping others. You're grateful for what you have in life, even if it's not perfect. People love you for who you are, don\'t ever change that- it's what makes you the great person that you are. </td> Blue 82% Red 75% Yellow 75% Pink 75% White 68% Orange 54% Black 50% Purple 46% Green 46% ~What colour is your heart?~ created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Elegant dark. You are "Elegant Dark".You regard darkness as something not depressing,but beautiful and elegant.You are most likely a reflective,pensive person,and you like "pretty" dark things like darker poetry, literature, music, and Victorian clothing. A good band for you to listen to would be Nightwish, a combination of metal and opera. </td> Elegant dark 100% Fallen 86% Naturally Dark 61% Murderous/Scary Dark 57% What is your level of darkness? created with QuizFarm.com

its finally over. i get my holidays and a huge supply of chocolate. though life may be getting a bit crazy atm, at least i still have my chocolate ~sighs happily~
its cheaper than conventional therapy too :D

4 school days left till the holidays :D ahhh, tis a wonderful life. Here is a quiz to brighten your day :)

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd   Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Science/Math Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Musician
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

Sent out a couple of copies of my cv last night. actually got a call back today while I was out, they seemed really excited. Hope I get it. If I do, its a cruise once school is finally over. Oh I hope i get enough money. Still not up to scratch health wise, but got my shopping bag of pills filled out which was nice.
I was accused of holding repressed anger about evil grandma. Repressed? Damn, I wasnt trying hard enough. Actually had the nerve to tell my mum that we shouldnt be worrying about my migranes or fainting, we should get tests done to make sure my asthma is realy asthma. Im really questioning these peoples priorities. First they try and get my exzma treated before my migranes and memory loss, then they decided to drop legitimate health concerns for tests on a pre confirmed asthma condition. The medication works, if that isnt a clue, I dont know what is.
Well, thats enough of a rant for today, goodnight world :P

Getting dizzy spells again. Passed out 3 times already today, not sure why yet. Doctor says I have lobile blood pressure which explains why i get dizzy when I stand again, in fact from the difference in the pressures (lying-sitting-standing) he is surprised i can even stand up. Lucky me. Stil no idea why it happens when I may have been standing for a while already, or why I mysteriously pass out. Not boding well. Sounds like Sammy may call me over for a round of singstar soon. Hadnt realised just how much I missed little things like that. Running painfully short of highlights in my day now, cant even get to medieval guild this week.
Gah. ~rattles bars sadly~